You are here
Home > Technology >

So you want to conquer the Earth? 5 science tips for supervillains

Meanwhile, again in North America…

The western seaboard is boiling beneath an angry yellow sun and the nice individuals of Earth exist precariously on the sting of heat-induced psychosis. At any second the stress might erupt into chaos.

And perhaps that’s your factor.

We attempt to not decide right here at Neural. After all, planet Earth is at the moment on the mercy of not less than half a dozen billionaires who might destroy life as we all know it with the metaphorical wave of their hand.

Anyone ever surprise what would happen if Jeff Bezos hit a killswitch on Amazon Web Services?

Does anybody actually assume Elon Musk is the right person to be answerable for house ships, brain computer interfaces, and bleeding edge AI?

And we gained’t even point out the truth that Bill Gates is the biggest owner of private farmland in the US and, conceivably, has backdoor entry to the overwhelming majority of the world’s computer systems.

Democratizing evil

All of that simply goes to point out you: the gatekeepers in STEM have an iron grip on the long run. It’s as much as each one among us to loudly declare to the Gates’, Bezos’, and Musks of the world that wealthy individuals aren’t the one ones who may be supervillains.

But you’ll nonetheless want financing. One of the hallmarks of supervillainy – versus common, on a regular basis evil – is that it’s large and showy. It’s arduous to be gaudy on a finances.

And that brings us to our first tip: cryptocurrency.

Crypto might not be as widespread for legal enterprises as common outdated money, however the current tax laws are so dumb you may legally maintain hundreds of thousands in crypto belongings with out paying a dime. It’d be foolish to not run your legal enterprise on cryptocurrency.

There’s such a factor as too evil

If the horrors of cryptocurrency are merely too evil in your tastes, there are different methods to turn out to be a supervillain that don’t require such… icky stuff.

Like, for instance, you would use cold fusion to destroy everybody on the planet. Arguably you would simply use the specter of chilly fusion to gather Bitcoin from everybody – however understand that you may’t stack crypto in a warehouse after which light it on fire to prove how edgy and dark you are.

Also, you may get lonely when you destroy everybody. Luckily, there are different methods we are able to exploit physics to punish the do-gooders and take our rightful place as supreme ruler of the cosmos.

Here’s just a few primers to get you began, however you’ll want some creativeness. The science is powerful, however it’s as much as you to determine how stopping or touring by means of time, having a spaceship with a warp drive, or inserting total planets in quantum superposition will enable you obtain your nefarious agenda.

You can’t spell villain with out AI

Maybe you’re not a physics nerd. Perhaps controlling the very material of the universe is a bit an excessive amount of duty for you. Or, perhaps you simply don’t wish to get your fingers soiled. May I counsel synthetic intelligence?

Sure, killer robots aren’t really a thing, however you are able to do a lot extra evil with AI than simply use it to shoot, stab, and squish individuals.

Tip quantity 4: Learn to like the Matrix

Unfortunately, AI isn’t at all times a viable answer. What if one other supervillain rises earlier than you, exploits quantum mechanics, and sends us all back to the stone age? Even Iron Man couldn’t tech his approach out of a world with out synthetics.

In this case, you’ll have to take advantage of extra than simply the material of our universe.  And machine intelligence is ineffective in a world with out electrical energy or digital networking.

Well, with one large exception: what if we’re all simply bits of knowledge dwelling inside a pc simulation?

If that’s the case, you’re going to wish to determine the way to expose and entry the actual universe past our simulation.

You’re really going to wish to comply with the primary three ideas so as to pull this technique off.  Because, if comedian books have taught us something, you’ll in all probability want a spaceship with a warp drive and an AI system. You’re going to need to fly by means of a supermassive black gap.

How to deal with superheroes

Assuming you’ve managed to reside by means of your origin story, developed a deep-seeded hatred for… one thing (the world, humanity, pop up advertisements, it doesn’t actually matter what) and determined the way you’re going to overcome the galaxy, you’ll have to be prepared for these pesky superheroes.

Inevitably, you’ll get some tights-wearing do-gooders who want for nothing greater than to see you delivered to justice.

While it will largely be a reactionary endeavor – you’ll want to reply to regardless of the powers of justice throw at you – the very best protection is to not be there.

To that finish, we recommend you strongly take into account establishing a base of operations off-planet and making certain that your bodily physique isn’t the only level of failure that may upend your life’s work.

We right here at Neural hope you’ve discovered this text insightful and, maybe, even inspiring.

Becoming the supervillain you’ve at all times needed to be isn’t a straightforward activity. It requires dedication, fervor, and simply the correct quantity of psychopathy.

But we additionally know that not everybody has the time or endurance to turn out to be a quantum physicist or to revolutionize the fields of AI and robotics. And, realistically, there’s more cash in being an everyday science villain than an excellent one (see: Google, Facebook).

Don’t let that cease you from following your evil desires although. You can nonetheless assist. Just bear in mind to at all times comply with the YouTube algorithm wherever it takes you, spend as a lot time on Facebook and Twitter as doable, and, most significantly, idolize tech billionaires and their trillion-dollar corporations.

In these methods, we are able to all do our half to help supervillainy.

Leave a Reply